InsteadOf Travelling


#Speak French for a day. If no-one understands you, talk louder and slower. Try hand gestures. If you don’t speak any French, an accent and confused frown will do just as well.

#Grab a bike and a tent. Cycle ‘til it gets dark. Camp. Eat beans cooked on a camp stove.

#Rent a boat! Local bay, local river, local lake. Or a pedalo.

# Hang around in coach stations (or train stations, bus stations – but they get funny about it in airports.)


#Sleep in a car. Or park. Or at the beach. Or in a cave.

#Watch German TV.

#Send postcards from your hometown.


#Let a foreigner surf on your sofa. It’s not quite staying in a hostel, but waking up to a different language in your kitchen never gets old.

#Visit an overpriced tourist attraction at home. Latch onto a foreign tour group.

#Bribe a corrupt official at your nearest border.

#Paint a mural of a desert island on your bedroom wall.

#Follow a local tourist trail, one signpost after the other.

#Nap in a hammock.


#Get tourists to take photos of you in front of the local Cathedral/City Walls/giant ball of wool.

#Wear a bikini, or boardshorts, everywhere.

#Go barefoot as much as possible.

#Drink cocktails on the veranda. (Or personal equivalent.)

#Check out local events; beer and/or music festivals, street carnivals, church fetes, funfairs, battle re-enactments, craft fayres, food fayres (my favourite), open air theatre, Dickens Land…

#Ride a donkey.

#See how far you can get for a tenner.

#Find your nearest outdoor pool. Bonus points if you manage a tan.

#Head to your nearest beach location. (Bonus points if you miss the last bus home and end up stranded.)


#Hitchhike. (Remember your towel.)

#Sit in a park all day, chatting to strangers.

#Eat only bread, cheese and beans for three days.

#Get heatstroke. Or dysentery. I hear dengue’s popular at the moment too.



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